We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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