Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
