I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
