Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
