Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
