Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
