Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
