I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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