My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Watching her eat just hurts me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
