So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
