just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
