So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I smell like Dick and happiness
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
