Nicole vs. Life
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
