You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
