Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
