we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
