After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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