It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize