you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
