Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
