So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
