whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
