its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
