never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Boobs speak an international language.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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