he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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