I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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