I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
