last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
