If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
