Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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