You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
