I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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