Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
