Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
