There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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