I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
