i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
