you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
