coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
