Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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