So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
