Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
