I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
