if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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