she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The beer is more important than you right now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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