We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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