a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
