I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
