Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
