Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I need to stop coming to work sober
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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