His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
