Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
