I hope mine doesn't look like that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
